July 7, 2013.
LACMA Director Michael Govan announced plans for a complete makeover of the LA County Museum Of Art Complex. When renowned Swiss architect Mänfred Zweibach proposed his breath-taking $300M “Zwirlyplex” vision, critics were momentarily silenced by the sheer audacity of the vision.
“But…we’re completely ignoring the rich history of vernacular architecture of Los Angeles” argued Franklin Grossemutte Trautte, enigmatic benefactor who has only recently surfaced on the West Coast. Mr Trautte made his initial fortune in recycling ’70s and ’80s TV tropes and memes. At a recent LACMA board meeting, described by nameless observers as “a candid and open sharing of views and visions”, Trautte unveiled his idea for a massive edifice in the form of a Woolly Mastodon.
The edifice, quickly dubbed “Masta Don”, would house the entire Post-Modern holdings currently in the BCAM, which would be converted to a Zeppelin hangar. Michael Heizer’s “Levitated Mass” would be moved, and painted a cheerful lime-green, and be the entry portal for the Four-Pillared Gallery under Masta Don’s massive hindquarters.
Construction is slated to start in June 2015.
“The “Masta Don” = amazing. Doing in one name and one architectural complex what rap videos have been trying to accomplish since the mid-nineties: successfully conflating Westside punk ass bangin’ and slangin’ with the ethos of 1970s mafia films. The subtle wordplay continues with “Masta Don’s massive hindquarters” reflecting the ingenuity of the structure in incorporating non-verbal signifiers of high art, here masterfully referencing 1992’s Stravinsky-esque cultural coup d’état, “Baby Got Back.”
Not only is it an eyesore, it also encroaches on the La Brea Tarpits/PAGE Museum. Not cool.
February 5, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tagged architecture, bullshit, chris burden, collage, compositing, deconstruction, LACMA, lampoon, levitated mass, los angeles, mastodon, michael govan, parody, preposterous, pretentious, rendering, satire, utopian, wilshire corridor, zumthor
LOS ANGELES, CA: January 4, 2013 – Bloated Corpse gallery director [redacted], center, and [redacted], right, stand near Guy de Malpissant’s manipulated piece “You’ve Got To Be Shitting Me, BoHo Poseurs! (4)”, one of the pieces in a show at the Bloated Corpse gallery in Los Angeles. Both were at a a loss to elaborate on the enigmatic artist’s larger intentions. The piece was bought by a prominent personality for a record $80M.
This story just screamed “Kick me!”
Read the original LA Times story and decide for yourself. Please inform me if I missed something. Prior Post-Modern Art musings, here.
(Original photo by Katie Falkenberg / Los Angeles Times)
Mr Shark has his own thoughts on the subject of art.
I’m delighted to assure you that bullshit knows no boundaries or statute of limitations. The New Yorker had a lengthy article on “the Art Doctor”, conservator Christian Scheidemann. I respect Mr Scheidemnan’s encyclopedic expertise. What I find thoroughly laughable is his considerable talents are keeping art swindles by the likes of Damien Hirst et al, on life support.
Exceptions to the sorrow were some droll moments where beetles were gnawing the guts of a Wilfredo Lam canvas because they liked the glue. Wilfredo could kick the asses of all the current Po-Mo darlings, and then entertain their mistresses in style.
So, I decided to fire off a letter, to hurl a dead cow over the parapets if you will:
Did it occur to anybody else while reading “The Art Doctor” that the real task was conservation of a preposterous fraud? Every “artist” reverentially mentioned is a slick bullshit artist, a mountebank, a swindler and cheat; pimply adolescent trolls stumbling in the footsteps of giants. I can’t wait for all of their “works” to implode due to their moronic ineptitude.
There was no thud, but it felt good anyway.