July 7, 2013.
LACMA Director Michael Govan announced plans for a complete makeover of the LA County Museum Of Art Complex. When renowned Swiss architect Mänfred Zweibach proposed his breath-taking $300M “Zwirlyplex” vision, critics were momentarily silenced by the sheer audacity of the vision.
“But…we’re completely ignoring the rich history of vernacular architecture of Los Angeles” argued Franklin Grossemutte Trautte, enigmatic benefactor who has only recently surfaced on the West Coast. Mr Trautte made his initial fortune in recycling ’70s and ’80s TV tropes and memes. At a recent LACMA board meeting, described by nameless observers as “a candid and open sharing of views and visions”, Trautte unveiled his idea for a massive edifice in the form of a Woolly Mastodon.
The edifice, quickly dubbed “Masta Don”, would house the entire Post-Modern holdings currently in the BCAM, which would be converted to a Zeppelin hangar. Michael Heizer’s “Levitated Mass” would be moved, and painted a cheerful lime-green, and be the entry portal for the Four-Pillared Gallery under Masta Don’s massive hindquarters.
Construction is slated to start in June 2015.
“The “Masta Don” = amazing. Doing in one name and one architectural complex what rap videos have been trying to accomplish since the mid-nineties: successfully conflating Westside punk ass bangin’ and slangin’ with the ethos of 1970s mafia films. The subtle wordplay continues with “Masta Don’s massive hindquarters” reflecting the ingenuity of the structure in incorporating non-verbal signifiers of high art, here masterfully referencing 1992’s Stravinsky-esque cultural coup d’état, “Baby Got Back.”
Not only is it an eyesore, it also encroaches on the La Brea Tarpits/PAGE Museum. Not cool.